I now have 2 stories sitting in the “rough draft” folder. The One that I just finished I believe could be very good. The other one sitting there… I think was just me figuring out how to get a story over 1,000 words on paper. It ended up as 14,000 words. This story is under the working title “wealthy”. It’s going to be my experiment with editing a story. My plan is to start today, using my iPad, or my computer to read through it and mark up what I think it needs. I’m *not* changing anything in the story (unless the change in me finding a really wrong word, or a misspelling after so long). Then I’ll make changes on the second pass. I’ll keep you posted on how this goes.
I wish I had the answer, however I don’t. This question has been plaguing me for years. I’ve tired filling my time with sex, drinking and having fun. I’ve tried filling it with creative endeavors.. but I still have to work. Bills need paid, and props and trips need gotten, and computers need replaced. I’ve tried having relationships in various forms… I’ve tired blogging, not blogging. I’ve tired owning all the new gadgets, games and softwares. I’ve tired becoming a public speaker, but no one wants to hear my message. Or at least no one would pay for it… and I really like having a house, working phone and internet access.
After all of this, I’ve learned alot about my self. I know that I really, really like being able to dress in nice cloths. (Thrift store, thank you.) I know that I have to create, and do so on a regular basis. I know that I need friends and relationships. I know that I want to be in the drivers seat. I just don’t know how all of that can add up to a life that’s worth living. One where I don’t just want the fear to end.
I’ve been to more doctors, and done more years of therapy then I can count. All they do is give me meds that don’t work, and make me fell like crap. Some make me not creat, and really not care about anything. Yes, it makes me not afraid, and not get upset. However, it makes me really fat, all of my joints hurt, and I don’t have the energy or motivation to get off my ass and do anything.
I’m going to change the question. “what do I want to see happen in my life” and “how can I use what I’m good at to make that happen?”
It seems like I can use that.
Everyone makes choices. The question is how do you make them? Do you choose what’s right, what’s easy? I tend to get trapped into making the easy choices. I think that most people tend to get trapped into that line of thought. However, there is more then just right, easy and wrong. There is Good for me. Sometimes whats good for me is spending a day on the couch watching movies. Sometimes it’s going to see the art exhibit that’s a 1/4th of a tank away. Do any of these effect the world? Not by much. However, they effect me.
I’m not talking about the big life choices here. If you’re reading this blog, then you’ve already made the big life choices. Now you’re getting an emergency fund, a start up fund or are farther down the road on the path to Fearless Leader then I am. We kind of get the big choices. But what about the every day choices?
I make choices based on what’s good for me. There needs to be work, play and rest. Without the play, the work will drain you. Without the work, the play becomes work. Without rest, well… nothing will get done. Trying meth isn’t an option. I like my teeth. Don’t forget doing good for others, and not harming them.
Right now, I’m dealing with a chest cold that limits what I can do. No early mornings photographing things. No hikes, or long walks. Just lots of rest and wishing I could breathe easy. I’m ready to be up and doing, and I really want to be active. Hopefully next week. I’d like to at least be recovered enough for a good long walk.
My old computer is no longer worth having any more. This requires me to choose what apple product I will be buying. It’s more then just what can I afford, it requires me to take a guess about what the rest of the world will bring to me… and I don’t know what that will end up beings.
But the more interesting thing is that I was really, really upset about it. I really want to keep my silver. I love that computer. It’s case is covered in stickers, and I’m fully in love with the thing. It was the first device that took my hear away, and now I’m seeking to get a new one. I worked through the upset, and am now seeking something better, and something more.
I had planned to spend today in bed, on my ipad adding keywords to photos. Instead, I’m at a friends house, watching dogs, listening to kids play can cars idle. Why?
Because I was asked to, and I could.
It’s Important to do things for your friends, strangers, and coworkers. If you’re nice to them, and they like you, and you are willing to help them, they will help you. It could be anything from pet sitting for a few hours, to a place to stay, to help moving. None of use are islands. None of us can make it on our own.
If I’ve learend anything over the past 2 months, it’s that people really are willing to help. People really do care. But you have to take action, and make the plan, and ask. But if they don’t like you, and you’ve refused to help them, they will do the same for you.
Some will help you out more then you do them. Some will help you out less. That’s just how life goes.
But be willing to help… sometimes helping can give you more then the person your helping.
My computer is a pain to carry around. Because I’m working towards becoming a pro photographer, and fell like I’m really close to starting, I need a way to show-off my in progress photo shoots for the client. The answer?
A used Ipad, and PhotoSmith. The ipad is wonderful. PhotoSmith has issues syncing with Lightroom properly. But not enough issues to stop me from using it. It took me the better part of 2 days to figure out that I just have to live with it. But I at least figured out how the program works. I’m not going to explain it, because I’m hoping that the next update will fix the problem.
But I have gotten more keywording done then I had in ages. I think I didn’t bother doing it for over a year.. I’ve still got 700 photographs left to work on… hopefully that will be over with soon.